OMG! I wish i never knew love and never knew hurt. I' trying, trying and trying but when am getting a little bitter, i just stumble and fall down again. I really wish i don't wanna be in love sometimes, I was never been in love like how i am with him. Why it is so hard for me to make him happy? I don't have guts anymore, I thought it would be easy to love him and make him smile everyday but i never know it's really fucking hard. Why is it so hard for me? Is it better for me to live single? I f now, the answer is Hell to NO!! How to stay single when u know he is the one that u really love? When u know u can actually be with him and everything will just be over? Oh no, i can't even stand that small little break then how am i suppose to stand if it really ends. Should i kill myself because of him? Naah.. I couldn't do that. Probably am being out of control for few weeks or months maybe years or I'm just tasting a little bit hell in the world.
I'm trying so damn hard to changing me. I wanna be the girl who always been supportive, loving, caring,honest,loyal with him, gives all the freedom and listens to him no matter what and i want he always be happy. Oh gosh, I'm madly in love with him.
I found you when i was in the dark and u come into my life and brighten it up. I will never forget that i've you in me because i was very proud to be yours. You changed all the imposibles to possibles and u turned me into a person with full of dreams. I'm now gonna run after what i wanted aggressively, and that's because of you. you opened up my eyes and made me into a confident girl (progressing) You thought me so much that i needed to know, well knowing you wasn't a big mistake and losing you is really is. I wanted to be better because of you and i still want to improve. You will always in my heart and guess what, u understood me the best. No one like you and only you in the world. You are irreplaceable. You had always been honest to me (i guess), so do i, but am sorry i tried indeed made the hell a great couple.
The ego me, the childish (ecouter) me, the miss dependent, the fussy me, the annoyed me, the lazy me, the evil me, and the heartless. I never knew my mistakes and always talked too much without learning from my mistakes. Oh yeah, U always remains me that " Action speak louder than words." Yeah it's truly right. I've never shown any changes in me. Haha.. u are a star for me and thanks for moulding me into a star :P (but haven't change to be a star yet)
Sighs.. Is it hard to make you happy? I never knew it's so been difficult to me. I really wanted to give up and move on sometimes. But that's foolishness and immature. I wish i've a magic and i would make people happy with me. hmm.. I wish i can stop hurting himself. I just don't want because he i love the most than anything in the earth. I wish i'm gone elsewhere, i wish i can leave my heart behind or cut it open and show it to him that's he's the only one. I just wish i could all of them. I wish i've a magic but its useless.
Lately,My darling is so moody or maybe he's hurting so badly deep inside his heart. I wish i know what's happening inside him but no, i didn't. Only him and god know what's really happening in him. When i see his blue face, i always wanted to be there to cuddle him, shared everything with him and tell him everything gonna be alright. If he is hurt because of me, i wish i could take away the pain by getting him away from him but i don't know that's not what he wanted. I wish i will be there for him and work things out together and to be his cheerleader. Love is everything, everything in life that we have to go through together.
I never once regretted for being his because i am very tremendously proud for being his! I don't give a fuck to whoever always talk bad about him. Or whoever is trying to advice me bout the relationship. Past is a past.. and i wish i don't wanna know anything which is related with the past. Nothing we could do with the past. We're living in the present and trying to be the best in the future but we learned a lot from the past. What has done it is done and i don't wanna think bout his past anymore and please do not discuss with me even once. I wanted to be a better person in future and to be who i am, i guess this is part and parcel of life.
